Special edition 2: Mark Webber puts the 'mark' in market square

Now that I've finally recovered from the excitement of breathlessly meeting Jenson Button for a few seconds, the quest for journalistic integrity yesterday sent me back to the rolling green hills of my hometown to interview Red Bull’s Mark Webber. Having previously blown my proverbial load of dignity in the face of Jenson, I was determined that round 2 of ‘meet your heroes’ would pass altogether more smoothly.

Andy and I arrived fashionably early and full of AMT coffee and West Cornwall pasties to find a village square on the cusp of darkness but devoid of fanatical followers of festive cheer, save for a man selling hot dogs and the pointless sparkly plastic wand merchandise that has become a staple of any British after dark event. With 15 minutes to spare until our slot with Mark, and with still no idea how to work the video camera or a definitive list of questions, we ducked in to my former local for a quick pint and last minute planning session.

The rendezvous point arranged with Mark’s PR was a smart menswear shop which, despite being opposite my parents’ house, I’d never had cause to enter. Village rumour is that Noel Edmonds himself buys his shirts there, and such calibre was undoubtedly reflected in the loudness and dizzying colours of their goods. In amongst the throng, signing autographs for cowlicked village children, we found the man himself, with a jaw so chiselled as to put Jenson’s status as public heartthrob number 1 to the test.

Encouraged by free champagne, Mark’s lovely PR Ann, and Andy’s steadycam magic, we dived in for the interview. A lack of chairs meant I was kneeling rather awkwardly on the carpet in front of Mark, while Andy posed behind me filming, desperately trying to not get my ‘non-international face’ (copyright Kate) on screen. The full details of our discussion will be posted here at a later date in video form, but regular readers will be pleased to know that I kept my cool throughout and didn’t once reduce myself to slobbering fanboy antics (except in this picture).



About 5 minutes in we realised we were holding up a lot of kids, over-eager store staff and local busybodies on the autograph trail. The interview was curtailed and we scurried to the market square where a crowd had gathered by a temporary stage set up by a Christmas tree not much larger than most advent calendar chocolates. Andy’s incessant filming of ‘scenic’ shots (dogs and old ladies’ legs) meant we only just arrived in time for the predictable playing of Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ as our hero disembarked his crutches and limped onto the podium.

From our privileged position behind the scenes, we were treated to a thrilling insight into the intricacies of Christmas light switching on. “Now Mark, I’m going to give you this control, it doesn’t do anything, but just make sure you press it nice and high so I can see it, and I’ll flip the real switch at the same time.” Underwhelming admittedly, but still, following a short speech and emphatic pushing of the fake button, the early dusk was bathed in a warm electric glow to feverish applause. Christmas carol season was officially on, and the curious village folk drawn out of their houses by the kerfuffle slowly dispersed whilst bopping along to the seasonal sounds of Wizzard and Slade.

Nemesis Update: how many different scarves can one man own? It’s getting ridiculous.